a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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