barbara walters just said penis...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I have tasted many bathrooms
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
