First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
