whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
