He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
being pregnant is like rehab
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
