her vagine was all disorganized.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
