She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Randomize
