At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
