ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
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