Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
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