Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
