she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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