Already got asked if we're dating
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
