New low: just hacked my moms facebook
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize