she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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