She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
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