So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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