Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i used baking grease as lip gloss
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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