He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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