ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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