You can't motorboat a personality
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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