If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Randomize
