New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
