Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I want a musical about memes.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize