i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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