my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Well I just put wine in my tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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