I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
