a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
