this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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