This girl is more easily done than said...
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
