so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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