It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
