you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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