from now on my penis is your penis
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
