physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
