also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
