either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Randomize
