Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
