Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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