i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
