Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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