That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
