he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
