I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
