Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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