My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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