So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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