it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
