Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
