the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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