By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
