Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
