Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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