Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
