you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I am one with the molecules
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
