Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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