I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
