Kiss
Puke
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
