I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Tell her she can't have a vagina
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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