did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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