The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
