Someone shit on the floor
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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