Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize