There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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