i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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